When trust comes everything flows itself. We cannot force trust. We cannot accept trust. It flows itself to itself; then, we don’t care — unwiring our hearts and minds, disclosing all the secrets, wounds, weaknesses, triumphs and so on.
When people hide things, though we cannot prove, but we know intuitively — and trust starts leaking. That’s why relationship fails. Love fails and lover fails.
Love without trust is like a rotten food, you poison your body and mind. People say after one year of marriage love is lost, I think trust is lost — ‘coz when we live together, we can recognize certain masks and pretenses, they play or have played.
We continuously need spiritual gurus, look into scriptures — ‘coz our relationships are not evolving. In fact, they are killing — since childhood to until deathbed — we want to solve our relationships through ‘em, our lives and karmas through ‘em. Much faster we do much better it is — one way or the other, they make us learn whom to trust or whom to not.
It is openness of mind not of legs. It is to learn from other — what we lack inside. It is to accept our mistakes and ignorance. It is to cut or fill those gaps which come in between our beloved ones. It is to enhance our mind maps, coming out of narrowness of perception. It is to weigh our common sense, checking its validity if it needs to be reprogrammed.
Talking about s*x, or pasting lip-lock, or leg-lock pictures — is not openness. Even it is not catharsis or other modes of healing. Though it immensely help becoming popular among certain kind of people.
Beauty without inner-grace and power without kindness are not more than a shit. Our behavior, acts or words — exercise the power of our soul that we have on our minds. Modes of openness or say self-expression should be creative, growth seeking and longing for spiritual evolution. In the name of self expression, you can not exercise mental sickness: raping, killing, getting drunk and dancing in sewer, and other modes of disorders.
“One’s own being is His power. The trouble arises only when one says, “I am this or that, such as such.” Do not do it — be yourself, that is all.” — Ramana Maharshi
If you have a rifle in your hand and have fired all the shots; What is the power left in your hand? Or, you have a billion dollar bank balance but next year you just go bankrupt, what is the power left with you? Or, they have dethroned you from your status job … or your mate with whom you felt powerful now want a divorce — what is the power left with you? Isn’t it that all these powers are objectives. Transient. Superficial.
Maharshi talks about “permanent” power; which nobody can take from you. Even you are empty handed, bankrupt, a beggar and without a mate — you are still powerful. The power of being doesn’t depend upon circumstances; ‘coz the power of being is the power of God. With this power, you don’t care what comes and what goes — you are happy in all the ways.
First story is about tyranny of a father. He believed himself God and asked his son to worship him like that. As any child can know the difference between words and deeds. This child took his father by his deeds, and refused even to consider him a God. Fortunately, the child was emotionally strong at his tender age; continuous punishments and their fear couldn’t make him weak — but he grew stronger with each passing fear while trembling inside his heart. In these circumstances a child usually gives up and does what his parent says. But this was a remarkable child, named Prahlad.
Taking his father by his deeds, he suffered punishments but only did what his consciousness allowed. And didn’t bother about taking the risk of his life. Things went bearable for a while. But unbearable to the father, the great king Hiranyakashyap, when Prahlad started worshipping lord Krishna. The father’s ego got hurt and hurt. It was not ethical to a king to kill his own son, so tried to set him up, but each time the plan failed, even that too was failed in which Hiranyakashyap’s sister Holika offered herself to take Prahlad in her lap and sit in the fire (Holika had some occult power, and she believed she couldn’t get burn); but instead Holika was burned to ashes and Prahlad was saved.
Watching that scene, father’s pride started boiling in anger that Prahlad was saved again by some miracle; he couldn’t control his temptations and he drew his sword in front of everyone, and ran to turn him into two pieces. What could Prahlad do? He closed his eyes and started trembling and with fearful voice called his Savior, lord Krishna in his mind. Suddenly a pole next to him blared up and a live entity came out of that, was made of upper half of a lion and second half of a man — was called lord Nrisimha (the avatar of lord Krishna). This avatar put Hiranyakashyap on both of his thighs and blew his ten nails into his stomach and in a flash tore him apart.
Since that day, the Holi is celebrated, people make fire, considering in that Holika is sitting with Prahlad in her lap, and Holika will turn to ashes and Prahlad will be saved.
Since ages, a man is jealous of a woman’s beauty. Woman is much more delicate and flexible product of God, with her own type of beauty and elegance.
So lord Krishna was jealous of Radha. She was beautiful. The ‘leelas’ of lord are par-excellence: dancing with gopis, switching clothes, or hiding their clothes. Living, dancing, and singing with ‘em. So this time what lord Krishna did, He thought to arrange a trick to make Radha less beautiful.
Furious what to do, He sought help of her mother and she advised that He could take any color He wanted and smear it to Radha. At this He took different shades of color and put them on Radha and on other gopis — and in turn they put color to lord Krishna and His associates. It was not revenge, nor disgrace — but an unharmed jealousy which turned in the play of colors with the loved ones.
In India’s best Dramebaaz, when a kid asked Vivek Oberoi that who did make him a judge? Along with Vivek Oberoi, faces of other judges: Sonali Bendre and Anurag Basu — turned white for a moment. And the kid was ashamed what he had asked. At this the response of all the judges was to the kid “aapko badtameezi se pesh nahi aana chahiye, promise karo ke aap badtameezi nahi karoge toh hum apko age jane denge.” That was sort of scene.
But the kid’s question remained unanswered. Earlier he had a conditional loop, learned via family or friends — how to make an insane question when he has nothing to say. Now he has learned suppression via judges. Obviously, the kid didn’t know what does it take to become a judge, or why the Vivek Oberoi is a judge there? What can a small kid know? But, we should help him understand how the things work.
Vivek Oberoi or one of the Judges should have answered him like:
Kid, how much older are you?
“8 years,” kid said.
“See, Vivek Oberoi is working from past 15-16 years in this industry, twice of your age, even he is born in the family where he has seen everything since his childhood, his father is an actor. And he has worked in many movies,” the judge continued…
“How many movies have you seen of Vivek Oberoi?” judge said.
“I hardly remember one, oh yes, one of his dance scenes,” kid said.
“When you go home, watch some of his movies,” judge said.
“hmm,” kid said.
“He has so much experience that he can check any kid’s talent,” judge said.
“hmm,” kid said.
“Now, do you have any other question why is he a judge here?”
“No, I understand now,” kid said.
Though I don’t have exact details of Vivek Oberoi but know he is working past plenty of years and is a good actor. If we try to make that kid understand the above way, it will help to break his conditional loop which he threw at Vivek Oberoi, and he will understand and deal with these types of situations in much better way. Telling a child that he is doing “badtamizi” is just not enough, when he knows nothing about anything.
I have seen some men who can’t make a tea, clean their pots and wash their clothes. It is commandment in their home that men don’t do the household work, only women do. So their multiple intelligence just get crushed: how to do anything and problem-solving attitude. And they become inflexible, stone like, hard to fit in household environment: where they only know to give orders, have s*x, watch TV and sleep at night. They only know that men’s work is only to earn money. But happiness doesn’t come with money alone, does it? It is with sharing little-little things with our loved ones.
Living woman’s life doesn’t mean wearing her clothes and using her cosmetics. That’s funny. Except from pregnancy, no work is made for a woman alone. What a woman can do, a man can, and vice versa. I think, if you love your woman, you should learn her work also, or at least cooperate with her sometimes, maybe in holidays.
Thou holy feet I put my head, and speak from there. Let the right words come on my tongue and let ‘em know the difference between real and fake.
The criterion of testing is — muscles.
When a person leaves stress and tension, two things happen, his eyes change and face muscles change. Though the change happens all over inside and outside, but the eyes and face muscles are the prominent signs. Eyes and face turn calm and relaxed. In other words eyes look deep like ocean and face has grace and glow — the great example is Ramana Maharshi. Other examples are Sri Sri Ravishankar, Osho and lot more Spiritual Gurus.
If the mind is tight muscles are tight. And usually mind turns tight due to game plans it is possessed with. To check, the variations in eyes and face are often subtle, however everyone can check the relaxed and calm eyes and face, but it is subtle to check the cunningness that plays in eyes and at face. It is something like to know somebody’s intentions and tally ‘em with his facial expressions — to do this observation with silent mind is needed.
If we are not influenced by peer pressure or by the idea that thousands of people are following him, he must be a genuine guru — but use our own common-sense and intuition to know what lies beneath the surface, our heart can direct us, it can match real longing for real person or can show error that the person is not worthy for the longing.
I heard an unsound advice from a well mannered mother, she says that best way to punish someone is to leave talking to him, ignoring him. And they used to do in a class, when a child turns naughty, others are told not to talk to him, and that child feels terribly upset, a social outcast. And using this strategy in home is also good ‘coz you kill someone without breaking a stone. Forget emotional literacy!
If you give dog a bone he will not bark, even if you just give the smell of a bone, it is just enough to make him salivate. This is called reward system: “Do something and take a gift from us.” The common approach. The eyes are just set on reward. Forget self-autonomy of a child, forget if he really enjoys what he does, he has been poisoned for reward.
Parenting or caring for children is just not easy, as they think “He is just a child what does he know? He needs to follow our commandments until death.” Some children never grow even if they’ve become adults, their parents follow them at universities, among friends and haunt them in dreams, taking each decision on behalf of them. What does it create? It creates complexes and reflexes: he is unsure about himself, just driven by punishment and reward, and no decision to make. The hell knows what the self-growth is all about.
Parents who are concerned about their children’s future, are less concerned about their present, they forget if they need any spiritual, emotional and psychological growth, but everything they expect from their children to turn supermen. How is this possible? Parenting is just not about delivering babies, it is about knowing each aspect of life and their impacts. Parents are a huge university to a child, external university doesn’t matter much. It’s about how parents encourage, motivate and grow themselves that their children learn.
An emotional wounded person is like a horse which has his side two legs tied up at some short distance: can’t run but walk, can’t lie down but sit; can’t sleep but dream. Emotional wounds are hard to know from outside that how deep they are inside. I imagine if we could release them as a balloon releases its air, and could fill it again with kind of emotions we want.
There are lots of techniques available at some fee, where people can help you to get rid of them. Some work and some don’t. Even sometimes there is lack of time, or lack of money to pay an expert. Emotional wounds create some kind of trap around us and we feel helpless. We want release. And often times release in negative ways: the symptoms can be seen on our health and relations — unwanted diseases and circumstances, don’t know how to cope up with them. However, emotional release is only the solution, the seed of all the problems in our lives.
Pennebaker Writing Exercise method is one of the methods for emotional release, and you can do it anywhere at your comfort with a pen and few papers. Check if that works for you.
There is a mantra if you chant that in some number of times for certain, let’s say ninety days, it gives anything you want. You desire money, a truck loaded with it comes to you; you desire property, you start having an island at your name; you need men or women — and all are there and available for you. Just take a short example, you need a big piece of diamond, and you fire that mantra and it brings that diamond in your pocket, and you feel rich, great and powerful. Or, you use some other kind of mantras a series of self affirmation or say self-hypnotizing.
You write everything you want and chant it daily, before and after sleeping, think and think ever about the goal: the money, the position, the power; people loving you, appreciating you and regarding you. You live with those goals for years, comforting and believing in yourself that this is surely gonna happen. Why not? that you’ve sent your thought vibrations across universe and it will respond to you.
A mantra works, and self-hypnotizing works: you can sweat in winter or can shiver in summer, you can get or leave some habits through it. But most of time both the things are wrongly told so nothing happens but they backfire.
I’m leaving some occult concepts here where people can materialize things out of thin air (and still people around them remain poor), or can teleport anything from one place to their place in no time (in fact this is theft, you just steal). But these things give no sense of fulfillment and take away self respect. And the time which one has wasted with them, never returns. In fact, occult powers are used in the rarest circumstances (without flaunting them) where they only do good to everyone, they are not for gratifications.
A mantra is just not about chanting it in your couch and expecting miracle in you career, finance and relation. A mantra is about building an attitude, it shows two ends: one is the beginning and another is the goal. Does it tell about the process, that exists in between? Or, the self-affirmations do tell? No? That’s why just relying on them and expecting miracles backfire!
Suppose you are feeling thirsty, your stomach and mouth dry, the signal goes to mind, and mind sends signals to your body organs, they go to water and again your mind checks if the water is clean or unclean, if ok, ok, signals — you pour water inside your body, and again mind checks how much water in necessary, it sends signal to hands to stop. There is a process. And it starts and ends so fast we hardly bother about our mind and body that how they do work, their process. Whatever we desire, our goals, they are viable only through the right kind of process. Suppose if our mind malfunctions, we can’t even hold a glass of water, not knowing what to do with hands and water.
Whatever we want to achieve in our lives, it only exists through the “process.” The right process and right results. Unfortunately, we are hardly told about the process and another thing we believe in shortcuts and easy money, easy man or woman. More into attraction, influence and materialization, and less into process, ideas, creativity and hardwork. If you have mantras in your mind and book of affirmation in your hand, make a new thick book of process, write all the minute details of the process that how the work is going to be executed step by step, whether it is career, finance or personal development (for relations); and how to substitute some steps if they don’t work with some other creative steps. Writing process is writing your destiny.